Newborn babies have been criticised for arriving in England without a passport or any justification for arriving in our country.
Babies arrive in the country everyday, and up until now this has not been widely questioned. However, an anti-baby furore exploded recently when anti immigration campaigner Chris Toff openly condemned them. He said that it began when he was walking through a park one day, and was shocked to see how many babies there were.
“I was walking along in the sunshine, and looking around for something to feel miserable about. I was wondering if there was anyone I hated more than immigrants and it suddenly struck me how many babies there were in this park, and in this country. Who are these people? Where do they come from?”
The interviewer replied, “They come from their mothers, you fool.”
Toff counteracted this comment by adding, “Yes I know that but who gave that the OK? Who said they were allowed to be English? They become English in an instant when they are born, and I just don’t know if that’s right, personally. Shouldn’t they have to fill out some sort of a test, or something?
Another anti-baby campaigner pointed to his own hardship, “I’ve lived here all my life and worked hard, why should these scroungers turn up out of no where and expect to stay. Where did they come from anyway?” This comment led to widespread philosophical and metaphysical panic, as people wondered where they existed before they existed as babies.
A woman from Kent put forward the idea that, “We existed on another plain of existence, neither physical nor imaginary but real nonetheless and beyond our understanding. However, this country is full, and if these babies want to come over from another plain of existence that’s fine, and understandable, but we have to consider whether we have the space to accommodate them.”
Many babies were contacted for a statement but didn’t understand. Since Chris Toff’s interview, babies have continued to arrive regularly and apparently couldn’t give a shit.