Phillip Hammond has said in his Mansion House speech that you can only have good public services with a growing economy, while also implying that to have a growing economy you need to have bad public services. To save money. Then you have more money in the bank. Or something. Under the Tory plan you also need to borrow more and increase the national debt, It’s a bit like saying you need to starve yourself to get your vitamins, or to clean your front room you need to take a shit on the carpet.
I’m no economist, but I know this: to grow the economy you need to cut disabled people’s benefits. It’s the only way to increase growth. The Tories have made it clear. In his speech Hot Rod Hammond said they have lost the belt tightening argument, but I don’t agree. It’s clear the cuts to public services, library closures, swimming pool closures etc saw a sharp spike in national GDP and it was electrifying.
Anyone who has witnessed a family’s home being repossessed will have noticed the ker-ching noise bubbling through the land as our economy soars like an eagle. The connection is so potent that if you snatch a school lunch out of a child’s hands, you will literally feel the economy explode, like that bit in the Highlander movies where he kills the bad guy and absorbs his life energy in the form of an electrical storm.
Yes, the Tories have realised all of this. If we don’t make British people poorer, we will end up like Venezuela, where people are also poor. And the Conservatives have tried to make this argument, but we just won’t listen, god dammit. Furthermore, the rich have to continue to get richer and own more empty houses. That is the way that you create growth. A select few people have most of the money and they keep it safe in their accounts. And if those rich people happen to be the Tories, well yeah fine, they are prepared to take that part of the deal, and so the poor have to be prepared to eat their stale bread.
Here is the way it works: if you’re poor and you don’t want to be, just become rich. As Del Boy said, it sure takes the sting out of being poor. All you have to do is work hard and innovate. If you’ve tried that and you’re still poor, why not be born into a rich family. Or you could try cutting some public services, and watch as your bank balance powers up like Super Mario.