David Cameron has shocked the world by announcing he is made of love.
In a speech to humans he went on, ‘my main component is all that good shit.’
The news comes shortly after he said wants to bomb Isis, who have been killing people. The plan is for the UK to join the US in a swift retaliation to these disgusting killings, by doing as much murder as they can possibly muster. Once it is complete, the killings will cancel out all the other killings and everyone will have a can of coke.
Yet some detractors have criticised the selective killing of children. Cameron made his best defence by reminding everyone, ‘Love? I’m made of it, bitches.’
David Cameron has a rare genetic condition which means he is literally made of compassion, which allows him to kill in a particularly loving way.
A man in the audience was tempted to throw an onion at Cameron’s head, but he felt tired so he just went to the pub.